So, I'm in a long-distance relationship

Me and Tim before he moved to SF earlier this year.

Three years ago, when I first started dating Tim, my biggest fear was that I'd fall for him and then he'd leave. Not long before we met, he had moved to Portland to be a supply chain analyst for a large tech company. Much like I was in my early 20s, he was uber-ambitious and willing to relocate just about anywhere if the job was right. Surprisingly, he stuck around for a while--or at least long enough to become an integral part of my day-to-day life. Imagine my chagrin when he came to me last April and told me he'd been offered the opportunity to move to San Francisco ($#&@!^#@#$).

He asked what I thought he should do. Take the job. Duh. It's a fantastic career move, I told him. Plus, he had no reason to stay here except for... er... me. My Portland roots, unlike his, are deep. I knew that pursuing this promotion would make him happy, so I chose to support it 100 percent.

He accepted the job, but then weeks turned into months and the move itself kept getting postponed. While I'm not one to complain, the planner in me kept wondering when he was actually going to leave.

If you're like me, you often take more pleasure or pain in the anticipation of an event than the event or situation itself. Not surisingly, I spent much of those nine months freaking out over a situation I had absolutely no control over, probably to the detriment of that time we did have left together living in the same place.

The two of us at a friend's wedding over the summer.

When he left in late January it was difficult but not unbearable. I spent 12+ hours helping him sort, fold clothes, and pack up his U-Haul. By the end, we were both a bit delusional, but it was nice to spend those last few hours together. It didn't feel like he was saying goodbye permanently because I knew I'd see him again in less than a month.

In all honesty, those first few weeks sucked. I felt discouraged and completely lost. I found myself googling "how to survive a long-distance relationship" the way I google things like "how long should I boil eggs?" and "how do I contour my cheekbones?" He was the one still living out of a suitcase, what right did I have to be worried about the current state of affairs?

Clearly, it's only March, and I'm sure I've only scratched the surface of how to truly survive a long-distance relationship. I've had more emotional ups and downs in the past eight weeks than I did my junior year of high school, but I'm hopeful and open-minded. Tim will be visiting me once a month, and after I get back from Australia, I plan to do the same. I'm learning how to be patient, how to be more forthcoming about my feelings, and to not take everything so darn seriously.

Ladies of The Bachelor: Don't forget your sunscreen

Bachelor contestant Jenna's biggest faux pas was her
unnaturally orange skin. Bursting into tears six times an
episode was a close second. (Image: TV Guide)

It's Monday night and I'm watching The Bachelor. Embarrassing, I know, but I suppose there are worse guilty pleasures to indulge in. Gambling, smoking, or tanning--just to name a few.

Confession: In my high school yearbook, I was voted "Most Likely to be on a Reality Dating Show." Over the years, especially when I've been single, I've wondered what it would be like to be on, say, The Bachelor (shush, you know you've thought about it, too!) Enough though I'd probably be kicked off by the end of the first rose ceremony, I've thought about all the primping it would require to try and seduce a guy on primetime TV. You'd need formal gowns, bathing suits, and a suitcase full of beauty products. You'd probably get a new haircut before the show started taping, hit the elliptical, and give yourself a little color at the tanning salon.

This Bachelor contestant
could also cut back on the
fake n' bake. (Image: ABC)

A few years ago, if the producers of The Bachelor had called me and said "we want you on our show!" the first thing I would have done was drive to Palm Beach Tan. Chronically insecure about my appearance, tanning was one of the easiest ways to transform myself from an awkward, shy girl into a sizzling, sexy woman. In the back of my mind, there was always a lingering fear that my frequent UV exposure would cause wrinkles or cancer, but when you're 17 and the most devastating thing you can imagine is being rejected by a cute lacrosse player, tanning feels like a viable option. If I wanted a guy to like me, I felt like I had to bleach all the pigment out of my hair and become a slave to UV rays. It sounds insanely irrational when I say it out loud, but take a look at this season's Bachelor contestants.

Last month, when the show premiered, one of the first things I noticed was how unnaturally tan many of Ben's potential lady friends looked. Immediately, I tweeted: "Way too much fake n bake on the #bachelor" Seconds later, a follower of mine, Minta Daniel, replied: "Everyone looked like they dove into a bag of Cheetos." I couldn't help but chuckle. In an attempt to make themselves look beautiful and more desirable to Ben, these young women (if they do choose to UV tan) are increasing their risk for skin cancer and making fools of themselves on national television--in more ways than one. Yes, there was a time in my life when I may have watched The Bachelor and thought to myself, "Those girls are so pretty. I wish I looked more like them." But this time around? Not so much.

VIP cocktail waitress
Blakely's look screams
"unnatural." (Image: ABC)

When I was diagnosed with melanoma at age 23, even when I was sick with guilt that my negligent behavior had caused my cancer, I would still think to myself, almost instinctively: "How am I never supposed to tan again? What will I do for my wedding pictures if I ever get married?!" It's taken years to change my knee-jerk reaction from "tan is pretty" to "pale is pretty." For the first time, watching The Bachelor this season, I think I'm actually starting to believe it when I say all women should embrace their natural beauty. Tan skin, which was once the ideal, just doesn't do it for me anymore.

Now that the ladies are in Belize, I just hope they remembered to bring their SPF...