White as a ghost

I've always loved playing dress up, so it's no surprise I adore Halloween. Last weekend, I got to celebrate a bit early by running a super hero-themed 5k with a couple of my friends. I re-purposed last year's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume into something that was more 5k appropriate, while my bestie found a little boy's size XL Batman costume at Walmart about an hour before the race. Believe me when I tell you: running three miles in a Halloween costume as harder than it looks.

Dressed up as a ninja turtle for the 5k last weekend.

Run Like Hell in downtown Portland.

When I dressed up as a ninja turtle for Halloween last year, I wore a teensy green dress--not rain-proof running gear. Now, when I say that being diagnosed with melanoma impacted all aspects of my life, it really has. Even Halloween.

Pre-melanoma, Halloween prep meant hours in a tanning bed. After all, how could I dress up as a sexy cop, nurse, cowboy, schoolgirl, etc. without the requisite tan? Stopping by the tanning salon was just as essential to my Halloween costume as stopping by Party City to pickup a new pair of fishnet tights. The Halloween after my diagnosis, I made a conscientious shift to seek out a costume that would flaunt my pale skin like an accessory. After watching hours of YouTube clips on how to fix my hair just right, I decided to dress up as a sexy, tan-free pin-up girl. Red lipstick and all.

Halloween 2007.

Then last year, I picked the ninja turtle costume because I wanted to try something new. Something slightly less cliche and slightly more badass. I strut out in my teensy little costume, fully aware that almost every inch of my ghostly white legs were showing. Perhaps it's narcissistic of me, but I'm always worrying about what other people are thinking about me. On Halloween I worried less so because, well, everyone was dressed up, too. Consequently, it caught me by surprise when my friend's boyfriend made a comment about my costume/white legs.

"Shouldn't you have gone to a tanning salon a few times before wearing a skirt that short?"

Flaunting my fair skin in 2010.

I was pissed. Really pissed. Not pissed so much that my friend's boyfriend was making fun of me. 30-year-old men act like high school boys all the time. I really could have cared less that he was giving me a hard time about my Halloween costume. What drove me insane was that he chose to mention the one thing he should have known would really piss me off.

So it appears that no matter how old we get, I can't quite escape critique from my peers about choosing to embrace my natural skin color. *SIGH*

Have you ever gone tanning or spent extra hours at the gym so that you'd look better in a Halloween costume?

Melanoma claims another young life

I'll be completely honest with you: I've had a crappy week. Sometimes I wonder why, in addition to work, family, and friendships, I keep trying to change the world. Why do I always take on so many extracurricular projects? Why do I read until I can't keep my eyes open at night? Why do I take vacation days so that I can go work a volunteer event? Why do I spent hours researching and writing about something that happened to me three years ago? Why can't I get over it already? The result is inevitable--sometimes I get burnt out. I feel like giving up.

And then I hear that the young woman who we all fell in love with on last month's Stand Up to Cancer Telethon, Hillary Kind, passed away this week. I never met Hillary, but I couldn't help feeling emotional when I learned about her death. When I hear about young women like Hillary or Glenna, it scares me. These women are my age. Hillary was just three months younger than me. She looked radiant just weeks ago. How could something like this happen to her?

I wish I could just give up and start blogging about food or fashion. That I could leave work at night and just zone out--not have to worry about anything except laundry. But I know I can't. As long as there are woman like Hillary who are taken away from us before they can cross off all the items on their bucket lists, I'm going to keep evangelizing the importance of skin cancer prevention and early detection.

I want minors banned from tanning salons. I want to go to a professional sporting event where the cheerleaders aren't all orange. I want little girls growing up loving their natural skin tone and hair color. And I want to see a decrease in the number of young adults being diagnosed with incurable diseases. I like to think that Hillary would, too.

The skin cancer paradox

Image: Skin Cancer Prevention

A statistic that continues to perplex me: 86% of tanning bed users acknowledge that tanning causes cancer, and yet they do it anyway.

A reality that continues to perplex me: The number of people I'm friends with who continue to tan even though they know I've had melanoma (it's surprisingly high).

I realize that not all cases of melanoma are caused by UV radiation--natural or artificial--but some of them are. Yesterday, my dad sent me an article from CNBC.com that reiterates what I'm always saying about tanning and skin cancer: "Despite piles of research on the skin cancer risks of sun exposure and tanning beds, dermatologists and cancer groups struggle to persuade people to protect their skin from ultraviolet rays."

We know what we're doing is bad, and yet we do it anyway. It's like some sort of skin cancer paradox, isn't it?

If you're unfamiliar with recent findings, statistics, and legislation on melanoma, the CNBC article gives a great overview. I've read many of the studies it references in their entirety. I also love the suggestion from the University of North Carolina dermatologist at the end of the article: "Changing public opinion may be more effective than legislating change [for young people]. Effective campaigns to prevent skin cancer may need to emphasize that skin is most beautiful and healthy in it's natural, untanned, state."

P.S. Best of luck to my girl Chelsea Price who is speaking at the uber-fancy Skin Cancer Foundation Gala this evening. Besides hobnobbing with the rich and the famous, Chelsea will be sharing her experience of what it's like being a Stage III melanoma survivor in her mid-twenties. I hope that people pay attention because Chelsea isn't an anomaly. Melanoma isn't just an old person's disease anymore, and by limiting our exposure to harmful UV rays, we may be able to reduce the numbers of young people diagnosed with this crappy, crappy disease.

Pinktoberfest

Even soup turns pink in October.
Image: Goodlifer.

As I'm sure most of you are aware, we're only a couple days into October, but Breast Cancer Awareness Month is already in full swing. Several of my favorite melanoma bloggers have beat me to it and thrown in their two cents about breast cancer and melanoma. Now let me throw in mine.

If you're a regular reader (or an acquaintance who found my blog on Facebook), you may not know this: my melanoma was actually on my breast. I can't ever claim to understand what it feels like to be diagnosed with or treated for breast cancer, but I do know what it feels like to go under the knife and have a chunk of your lady parts removed. After I was diagnosed with melanoma, my dermatologist referred me to an oncologist who specialized in breast cancer. Both were hyper-conscious that I was a 23-year-old woman who didn't want to end up with lopsided breasts. Don't get me wrong--my first priority was always to get the melanoma off--but of course I was worried about losing breast tissue. I didn't have much to begin with.

Today, I have a neat, three-inch scar that wraps around my right breast like a phantom underwire. Even in a swimsuit, you can't see it, but it's still there. Something I'll never forget: During a post-op appointment, my surgeon cautioned me, "Just so you're aware, women who've had melanoma are more likely to be diagnosed with breast cancer later on. I don't want to worry you. Just something to be aware of."

What's the purpose in me telling you all this? Sometimes, when it comes to fundraising or allocating federal research dollars, we see a pink ribbon versus a black one. What makes one cancer any more worthy than another? Rev. Carol Taylor wrote a great blog post yesterday that explores the history of breast cancer advocacy. She comes to the conclusion that, above all else, we all need to be in this together. Yes, we can learn from Big Pink, but at the end of the day, the women (and men) affected by breast cancer are our mothers, our sisters, and our friends. Hell, if my surgeon was right, it might even eventually impact me.

All that said, please do your homework before purchasing products that claim to support breast cancer research. If you buy a "pink" lipstick, for instance, how much of the proceeds are really going to the cause? And what organization are funds being donated to? I hate to think that companies are making a profit off of cancer, which brings me back to my favorite topic in the whole entire world: the indoor tanning industry.

We all know that the tanning bed industry has undergone major scrutiny by the government and the media over the past several years. Because tanning has become more widely identified as a health risk, marketing strategies have changed. Inside tanning salons, posters of beautiful women have been replaced by posters that say things like “Indoor tanning: 100x more vitamin D than milk.” Such posters are sold by lobbying groups like the Smart Tan network to help change customer’s negative perspectives about indoor tanning. Some articles on their website suggest that indoor tanning bed use can actually decrease breast cancer risk. While science has far from proven that tanning can decrease breast cancer risk—quite the opposite—by proudly selling breast-cancer-pink ribbons, salon owners are presenting themselves as sympathetic to the millions of Americans who have lost a loved one to breast cancer.

My friend Al at Black is the New Pink wrote a blog post yesterday because he was outraged at the way tanning salons are leveraging Breast Cancer Awareness Month to boost sales.

"This would be the same as placing your pink endorsement upon cigarettes," he said.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Beauty diaries: Red hot

Yours truly rockin' her bright red lipstick.

When I was in college, I had an obsession with "the smokey eye." For whatever reason, when I attempted aforementioned smokey eye, it didn't look sexy like I intended it to. I looked more like a little girl playing with her mother's makeup than Christina Aguilera in Dirty. When I tanned--and my skin morphed from fairly light to medium beige--I was magically able to pull it off. On  nights out with my friends, I rimmed my eyes with blackest black kohl liner and loaded up on Maybelline mascara.

The one beauty look I never dared to try, no matter how dark my tan, was the bright red lip. Naturally, I was quite surprised to be called out at a makeover/fundraiser/event last year: "You with the fair skin, we're going to try red lipstick on you! It's so hot right now!"

After they'd powdered my nose and glossed my lips, I actually liked what I saw. I ended up buying a tube of richly pigmented red lip gloss and a matching pencil to help the color stick. Since then, I've dabbed on the gloss for special events--or for nights out when I've been feeling frisky. More and more, I've been seeing the bright red lip, not just on fashion models, but on real women walking down the street.

And now, some inspiration. You so don't need a tan to pull this one off.

Image: YSL

Image: Pinterest

Image: Behind the Scenes Makeup

Why did we ever use tanning beds in high school?

I  love it when my friends sent me notes like this!

My friend Debbie sent me this text the other day. She just had to have her fourth mole removed. As a teenager, neither of us though we'd regret tanning until we were older. Who would have thought that "older" meant "in our 20s?"

When Debbie and I met up for happy hour over the weekend, she let me snap a picture of her stitches. Ouch! Fortunately, all of Debbie's moles have been either benign or precancerous, so the procedure to remove them is less invasive than with a melanoma. Still, removing even a benign spot can be uncomfortable, and it can leave a pretty nasty scar. Plus, what would you rather spend your hard-earned cash on: a new pair of Frye boots or a biopsy because you spent too much time in the sun? I'll take the boots, please.

Stitches from my friend's most recent skin biopsy. It's
about one-third the size of my melanoma scar.

Melanoma and Mommyhood Pt. 2

A fair-haired kiddo wearing UV Skinz.
Image: ABC's and Garden Peas

While I look forward to having kids (someday), I also dread the inevitable: Mom, can I borrow the car? Mom, can I get my nose pierced? Mom, can I go spend the night at Rachel's house? And the one I fear the most: Mom, can I go tanning?

I dread having the "tan talk" just as much as some parents must dread the birds and the bees. Since I've had a melanoma, my offspring as more likely to develop one, too. Plus, one study I found suggested that children of women who've had skin cancer are just as likely to use tanning beds than those whose moms hadn't. Ack!

After Cher forwarded me that email about tanning during pregnancy, I decided to ask her a few questions about being both a mommy and a melanoma survivor. Here's what she had to say:

You were diagnosed with melanoma as a young adult--now you're a parent. How has that experience impacted the way you think about sun safety and your family?
I was still pretty casual about my sun protection for the first six years post diagnosis. Young and dumb! But, I slowly started being more realistic and actually using the sunscreen I bought. As I look at my choices as a kid and young adult, I realize those choices left many scars on my body. Physical scars that everyone can see. Mostly biopsy scars, but also my melanoma scar. Looking at these scars, I realize that I don't want my kids to have scars like these on their bodies, marring their perfect skin, so we developed a ritual before we go out that I help my daughter put on sunscreen and she helps me put my sunscreen on. Makes it a fun time and now she asks for sunscreen before we leave the house!

How do you protect your family from the sun?
Our primary protection is, at minimum, SPF30. And it gets applied several times a day, especially when playing in or near the water. I also make sure we are covered up well with shirts and shorts before leaving the house. Now that my daughter is closing in on 3, she does better with sunglasses and will request them to help her from the sun. (And by this I mean she doesn't continually take them off and see just how far they bend until they break!) I laugh because she always tells me the sun is too bright without her sunglasses! I also like to seek out shade to sit in while outside. I know that this is not great sun protection, but it helps me not feel quite so overwhelmed by the heat/sun.

You're also expecting another baby. Are there any special precautions you take being pregnant and having a history of skin cancer? 
No special precautions. Unless you count the times I check my freckles and moles myself compared to not being pregnant. Since the hormones in my system can increase the chances of changes, I have paid closer attention to my freckles and moles to make sure and catch anything that may be changing. I just learned as well, from my new dermatologist, that they prefer to have women not get pregnant within the first 3 years after a melanoma diagnosis as the treatments and testing they may do can be harmful to a fetus.

How do you think you'll protect your children from sunburns and from using tanning beds even as they become teens and young adults?
I hope to use my own experience as a kid/teen that refused sunscreen, even with my family history of skin cancer, as a basis. I'm sure that vinegar baths as a threat are not going to work! I hope that I can remember what I thought during my "rebellious" and "immortal, nothing like that will happen to me" phase that I can use as proof that we are not immortal and this does happen to young people. One of my thoughts was always, "I'll think about that when I'm old!" Well, old turned out to be 23. Or, not so old… So, hopefully I can relay the "use sunscreen" talk in a way that doesn't sound like the mom forcing their kid to do things their way. My greatest wish is that tanning bed businesses go out of commission long before I have to have this talk. I doubt that will happen… I'm not really sure what to say about tanning beds overall especially since I was never into tanning salons and didn't have friends that were either. I won't be turning a blind eye to them, but will need to find the battle that will work for me if that comes up.

Other parents out there--feel free to chime in. I'd love to hear about your experiences.