National Health Blog Post Month Day 28: Interview a community member
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| Anjannette, Tara, and Chelsea on a recent trip to North Carolina. |
I recently met (virtually) and immediately bonded with a wonderful woman named Anjannette from Light Skinned Mother. Anjannette was diagnosed with melanoma over the summer and has recently joined the melanoma blogging community. She was unable to participate in National Health Blog Post Month, so I invited her to collaborate with me on this post. Here's a recap of the conversation we had yesterday.
K: Tell me about your experience with melanoma.
A: I was diagnosed with malignant
melanoma on June 15, 2012. I developed a small mole on my neck after
giving birth to my daughter. I had it removed because it itched, and the
lab work came back fine. Then it grew back. Over a year and a half's
time, it grew bigger and itched more. Because it was just a pink
"bubble-looking" thing on my neck, I was sure it wasn't anything awful.
After all, every picture I vaguely remembered seeing of melanoma were
all dark, flat black/brown spots. After the itching got much worse, and
after much procrastination and rescheduling of appointments, I finally
got back into the dermatologist almost two years later to get it
removed. I was called back to have a neck excision due to "abnormal
cells" and was called back in again, urgently, two week later. The pathology
report from that excision came back as malignant melanoma. It was 2mm
deep. I had to have a second and much larger excision on July 13,
2012. Fortunately, the path results came back with clear margins and no
evidence of disease.
K: You just started blogging back in October. What made you decide to start writing about melanoma?
A: Several reasons led me to blogging about melanoma. 1) I have always had
the need to be "heard", so blogging is something I've thought about
doing for a long time. 2) I have always wanted to help and educate others
about various topics. 3) I was angry that I knew so little about this
awful disease- the one that I ended up being diagnosed with- when I
knew so much about other diseases I expected to have one day. I didn't
want anyone else to be totally shocked by it. 4) It's definitely been a
great form of therapy- an affordable form.
K: The name for your blog, Light Skinned Mother, is so clever! How did you come up with that name?
A: My husband, who is African- American,
has a vanity plate on the front of his SUV that reads, Light Skinned
Brother. Since having two children, I have been the one doing most of
the driving in that car, since it was the only one big enough to tote
two toddlers around. I was always drawing strange looks from people
walking by, reading the plate, then looking up at me. One day, after
packing up my two kids and their stroller into the car, I started to
pull off and my sisters commented, “Your tag should say Light Skinned
MOTHER, not brother.” And so it began as a joke between my family,
friends, and I. I even started using it as my email signature. Light
skinned mother took on a new meaning the week of my diagnosis. I had
just purchased a much needed car, since mine was 16 years old. I
contemplated getting a vanity plate for myself, but wasn’t sure I really
wanted it. Four days later, on Friday, June 15, I was diagnosed with
malignant melanoma. The following Monday, my husband drove us to the
mall and had the vanity plate made for my car. A few weeks later, I put
the Melanoma Awareness frame around it. I truly have to be a “light
skinned mother” now. So, I now wear the name even prouder.
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| The vanity plate that inspired the name for her blog. |
K:
You recently drove from Florida to North Carolina to participate in the AIM at Melanoma Walk. What was that experience like?
A: It was a VERY quick trip. I left Orlando at 11 a.m., arrived in Charlotte
at 8:30 p.m. and got back on the road to return at 12 p.m. the next day. It
was SO worth it, though! Friday night I met with a few people from the
melanoma community that I have only been taking to online. These people
have become such quick friends--no family--to me. They are the only
people who really know what is going on in my head on a daily basis.
They truly understand how real my fears are and how relevant my
celebrations are- for clear scans, benign moles, scars, etc. They
understand my guilt for not appreciating the skin I was born in. They
understand a part of me that my family and other friends just can’t, no
matter how hard they want to, no matter how hard they try. I was
comfortable with them. Saturday morning at the walk, I was quickly
warmed, despite very cold temperatures, by the people who turned out to
honor friends and family members who have suffered and passed away due
to melanoma. Families made shirts to announce who they were walking for.
There was an entire extended family there with shirts honoring their
matriarch that had passed from melanoma. The walk opened with several
people sharing stories about the people they lost from melanoma. Their
strength and perseverance to still be there and fight was truly
inspiring to me. It was an experience I will never forget.
K:
Aw... I'm jealous. OK. Last question. On your
blog, you write about self esteem for young women, which is something I
can definitely relate to. If you could go back and time and have a
conversation with your 16-year-old self, what would you tell her?
A: Yes, self-esteem is a HUGE deal for me. I certainly had very little of
it, and as a teen and in my early 20’s it was
just awful. This blog for melanoma, it is my push, my second chance, at helping
others, not only to educate them, but to encourage them to love
themselves. You got me with this question. If you were Oprah and we were
on the show, this is the part where I would start crying and you would
start crying and EVERYONE would start crying. LOL!
K:
My goal for this blog is the same. You are my long lost twin separated at birth!
A: Yes! Here is what I would say to the 16-year-old Anjannette: Stop trying to be who you think
everybody wants to you to be. You are intelligent. You are talented.
You are creative. You have the heart to move forward and make a HUGE
impact in this world. Regardless of what you think others expect of you,
focus on what you expect of yourself. If you aren’t aware of your own
expectations, you will spend your entire life trying to meet the
expectations of others. Stop trying to look like who you think
everybody wants you to look like. Once you stop and appreciate yourself
for who you are and what you have- your light complexion, the dark
hair, your ample hips, your endowed chest, those thick eyebrows, the
curly hair that people PAY to have- you will see that you ARE beautiful.
When you are comparing apples to oranges, one is always going to come
up short. Be you. Don’t try to look like someone else. When you finally
stop to appreciate the person you are, everything that is beautiful
about you will become even more beautiful. You’ve spent so long
convincing yourself that you are not pretty and undeserving. When you
don’t see yourself as beautiful, you will do anything and everything to
stop others from seeing your beauty when they do, which will only
confirm your false beliefs of unworthiness. Stop being afraid of
reaching for spectacular and ending up at average. You know average.
You’ve felt average your whole life. You got this. How could reaching
for more and ending up where you are be worse than settling for never
trying? At least you will be able to look yourself in the eye and know,
you did your best. Trust me, you are destined for greatness, maybe not
in the way you imagine, but greatness nevertheless. Your biggest
obstacle will always be you. Get out of your own way.
Feeling inspired yet? I sure am! Go check out
Light Skinned Mother, or follow
Anjannette's adventures on Facebook.
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This post was inspired by the Day 28 prompt for National Health Blog Post Month.
View posts by other participants.
